Never Split The Difference is a must read to master the art of negotiation.
If you’re too busy, just read this:
If you’re too busy, just read this:
If you approach negotiation thinking that the other guy thinks like you;
You’re wrong.
That’s not empathy, that’s projection.
You’re wrong.
That’s not empathy, that’s projection.
People always make more effort to implement a solution,
..when they think it’s theirs.
That is simply human nature.
It’s why negotiation is often called;
“The art of letting someone else have your way.”
..when they think it’s theirs.
That is simply human nature.
It’s why negotiation is often called;
“The art of letting someone else have your way.”
As a negotiator, you should strive for a reputation of being fair.
Your reputation precedes you.
Let it precede you in a way that paves success.
Your reputation precedes you.
Let it precede you in a way that paves success.
One of the reasons that really smart people often have trouble being negotiators..
..they’re so smart, they think they don’t have anything to discover.
..they’re so smart, they think they don’t have anything to discover.
The beauty of going right after negativity,
..is that it brings us to the safe zone of empathy.
..is that it brings us to the safe zone of empathy.
“No” is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.
Great negotiators seek “No” because they know,
..that’s often when the real negotiation begins.
Great negotiators seek “No” because they know,
..that’s often when the real negotiation begins.
“Every ‘No’ gets me closer to a ‘Yes’”
— @mcuban
— @mcuban
Never be so sure of what you want,
..that you wouldn’t take something better.
Once you’ve got flexibility in the forefront of your mind,
..you come into a negotiation with a winning mindset.
..that you wouldn’t take something better.
Once you’ve got flexibility in the forefront of your mind,
..you come into a negotiation with a winning mindset.
3 Kind of “Yes”
1. Counterfeit
Counterpart plans on saying “no”
..but either feels “yes” is an easier escape route;
Or, just wants to disingenuously keep the conversation going,
..to obtain more info or some other kind of edge.
1. Counterfeit
Counterpart plans on saying “no”
..but either feels “yes” is an easier escape route;
Or, just wants to disingenuously keep the conversation going,
..to obtain more info or some other kind of edge.
2. Confirmation
Sometimes used to lay a trap,
..but mostly it’s just simple affirmation;
With no promise of action.
Sometimes used to lay a trap,
..but mostly it’s just simple affirmation;
With no promise of action.
3. Commitment
True agreement that leads to action.
True agreement that leads to action.
Without a deep understanding of human psychology,
..without the acceptance that we’re all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally driven animals;
All the raw intelligence and logic in the world,
..is little help in the fraught, shifting interplay of two people negotiating.
..without the acceptance that we’re all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally driven animals;
All the raw intelligence and logic in the world,
..is little help in the fraught, shifting interplay of two people negotiating.
Using Prospect Theory:
1. Anchor their emotions
- Set expectations low
2. Let the other guy go first...
..Most of the time
1. Anchor their emotions
- Set expectations low
2. Let the other guy go first...
..Most of the time
The best way to ride a horse,
..is in the direction it’s going.
..is in the direction it’s going.
7–38–55 Rule:
7% message based on words
38% tone of voice
55% body language and face
7% message based on words
38% tone of voice
55% body language and face
Regardless of what language the word “Why” is translated into,
..it’s accusatory.
The only time you can use “Why” successfully is when the defensiveness that is created,
..supports the change you are trying to get them to see.
..it’s accusatory.
The only time you can use “Why” successfully is when the defensiveness that is created,
..supports the change you are trying to get them to see.
8 Critical Negotiation Questions:
1. What is the biggest challenge you face?
2. What about this is important to you?
3. How can I help to make this better for us?
4. How would you like me to proceed?
1. What is the biggest challenge you face?
2. What about this is important to you?
3. How can I help to make this better for us?
4. How would you like me to proceed?
5. What is it that brought us into this situation?
6. How can we solve this problem?
7. What’s the objective? What are we trying to accomplish here?
8. How am I supposed to do that?
6. How can we solve this problem?
7. What’s the objective? What are we trying to accomplish here?
8. How am I supposed to do that?
“He who has learned to disagree,
..without being disagreeable;
Has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”
— Robert Estabrook
..without being disagreeable;
Has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”
— Robert Estabrook
If you found this helpful, follow me @jbonhotal
I share insights on human performance, coaching, and leadership.
Here’s a similar one on the most notoriously unfinished book:
I share insights on human performance, coaching, and leadership.
Here’s a similar one on the most notoriously unfinished book:
You really should read (and re-read) this masterpiece from @fbinegotiator
It’ll help you more successfully build partnerships, and find solutions where everyone wins.
amazon.com
It’ll help you more successfully build partnerships, and find solutions where everyone wins.
amazon.com
Here’s another incredibly helpful piece from the legend @barrettjoneill
He’s one of the most insightful people I know..
If you’re not already, smash that follow button!
He’s one of the most insightful people I know..
If you’re not already, smash that follow button!
And, if you’ve read (and liked) Never Split The Difference;
Next up, should be ‘Power Cues’
It’s so good, I may need to drop a curation from it tomorrow..
The lessons from those two books together will make you unstoppable.
amazon.com
Next up, should be ‘Power Cues’
It’s so good, I may need to drop a curation from it tomorrow..
The lessons from those two books together will make you unstoppable.
amazon.com
Perhaps the most critical lesson of all..
Black Swan Rule:
Don’t treat others the way you want to be treated;
Treat them the way they need to be treated.
Black Swan Rule:
Don’t treat others the way you want to be treated;
Treat them the way they need to be treated.
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