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Emotional Abuse
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Emotional Struggles
Self-betrayal
Childhood emotional neglect
Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) is a common and “invisible” form of emotional abuse that can have devastating impact.
If you’ve experienced CEN you might 🧵:
If you’ve experienced CEN you might 🧵:
1. BETRAY YOURSELF:
When we experience CEN we learn our emotions and needs don’t matter. Because we had to deny our needs (usually to meet the emotional needs of a parent) we develop a pattern of self betrayal to stay safe, or to be loved.
When we experience CEN we learn our emotions and needs don’t matter. Because we had to deny our needs (usually to meet the emotional needs of a parent) we develop a pattern of self betrayal to stay safe, or to be loved.
2. STRUGGLE TO KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL:
As children, we need parent figures to guide us through and help us understand our emotions. When we don’t experience this, we struggle to understand and communicate our emotions.
As children, we need parent figures to guide us through and help us understand our emotions. When we don’t experience this, we struggle to understand and communicate our emotions.
3. LACK SELF TRUST:
With CEN, we usually experience invalidating of our emotions. Ex: a parent figure might say “you’re too sensitive” or “it wasn’t a big deal.” This disconnects us from our intuition and leaves us confused and unable to trust.
With CEN, we usually experience invalidating of our emotions. Ex: a parent figure might say “you’re too sensitive” or “it wasn’t a big deal.” This disconnects us from our intuition and leaves us confused and unable to trust.
4. HYPERVIGILANCE:
When we experience CEN, we learn to focus outside of ourselves on what other people are feeling or thinking about us. This leads to hypervigilance and a chronic focus on other people’s emotions.
When we experience CEN, we learn to focus outside of ourselves on what other people are feeling or thinking about us. This leads to hypervigilance and a chronic focus on other people’s emotions.
5. DISCOMFORT AROUND PEOPLE’S EMOTIONS
Many people who experience CEN are very uncomfortable around people crying or expressing emotions. They may feel confused at what to say when someone’s upset. Overall, emotions from others feel confusing.
Many people who experience CEN are very uncomfortable around people crying or expressing emotions. They may feel confused at what to say when someone’s upset. Overall, emotions from others feel confusing.
6. A LACK OF PREFERENCE:
CEN tends to create patterns of “whatever you want” “whatever you think” or “I don’t care.” When our emotional needs weren’t considered as children we assume no one is interested in them.
CEN tends to create patterns of “whatever you want” “whatever you think” or “I don’t care.” When our emotional needs weren’t considered as children we assume no one is interested in them.
HOW TO HEAL FROM CEN:
1. Get to know you: learn your own preferences, plan unstructured time for just you, journal, follow your curiosity.
2. Speak kindly to your inner child: “your feelings are valid” “it’s ok to feel this way” “I am safe”
1. Get to know you: learn your own preferences, plan unstructured time for just you, journal, follow your curiosity.
2. Speak kindly to your inner child: “your feelings are valid” “it’s ok to feel this way” “I am safe”
3. Practice expressing your needs:
you may be shut down or numb so this may be difficult— that’s ok. Take small steps. “I need a break” or “I can’t do that” are beginning steps.
you may be shut down or numb so this may be difficult— that’s ok. Take small steps. “I need a break” or “I can’t do that” are beginning steps.
4. Soothe yourself: people who’ve experienced CEN didn’t get the soothing needed to develop emotional regulation as children.
Practice doing things like: going on a walk, making art, self touch, yoga, or anything else that feels calming when stressed.
Practice doing things like: going on a walk, making art, self touch, yoga, or anything else that feels calming when stressed.
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