Dr. Nicole LePera
Dr. Nicole LePera

@Theholisticpsyc

9 Tweets 104 reads Jan 08, 2023
Watching your parents have a dysfunctional relationship is a traumatic experience most people call "normal."
Let's talk about the impact:
The first relationship you witness has a profound impact on: how you see yourself, relationships in general, and how you view the world (a safe or unsafe place.)
If we witness people who were: hostile, deceitful, emotionally neglectful or who had chaotic fights regularly, we learn people are not safe.
This influences our ability to:
- ask for help when we need it
- trust people and their intentions
- understand our own emotions
- express our needs
There's an added layer of trauma if our parents triangulate: involved the child in marital issues, use the child as a pawn, or force side taking.
This is a form of betrayal that runs deep for adults who become a therapist or an emotional support system to their parent.
Many people feel but don't understand why they have so much repressed anger or resentment towards their parent.
This anger can be a response to the pain from years of unmet needs at a time when we were most vulnerable in life.
Today, we can choose or healing.
We can choose to be the person our younger self needed.

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