Rattibha

Dr. Nicole LePera

7 Tweets 51 reads Jan 19, 2023

Enmeshment trauma happens when we become responsible for a parents wellbeing as a child. This changes the way we engage in relationships as adults.
5 Core Beliefs That Come From Enmeshment Trauma:

1. Taking care of people who cannot take care of themselves brings me my own self worth
As children, we had to caretake and our own needs weren't met. As adults, we're attracted to people that we can caretake in some way. This is how we feel whole or worthy.

2. When someone has dysfunctional/impulsive/unhealthy behaviors, my duty is to step in and try to fix, save or rescue them.
We feel guilty and pity people, and most of our relationships are obligation based (to avoid guilt) not from authentic love.

3. I have a deep desire to be close to people, but in relationships I feel controlled and often rebel.
We want connection, and at the same time we fear that intimacy so we avoid or push people away (usually subconsciously.) Affairs are a common example.

4. I must monitor people's emotions
This hypervigilance is a safety adaptation we get from experiencing past emotional neglect. We had to scan the room for changes in mood or tone of voice. Today, we're always asking people 'whats wrong?'' or 'are you ok'?

5. Being treated badly is better than being abandoned
We'll do anything to not experience the emotional abandonment from childhood. This looks like staying in dysfunctional relationships or enabling our partners so they don't leave us.

If you found this helpful follow: @Theholisticpsyc
I write threads every day on how to heal yourself.
Join the waitlist for SelfHealers Circle my global healing community: theholisticpsychologist.com
My new workbook:
howtomeetyourself.com