Never Split the Difference by @fbinegotiator
Life is a series of negotiations; the techniques and actionable advice from the book will give you a competitive edge in any discussion. A mind-blowing read and I highly recommend it to everyone!
12 lessons from the book 🧵
Life is a series of negotiations; the techniques and actionable advice from the book will give you a competitive edge in any discussion. A mind-blowing read and I highly recommend it to everyone!
12 lessons from the book 🧵
1) Without a deep understanding of human psychology, without the acceptance that we are all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally driven, all the raw intelligence and mathematical logic in the world is little help in the fraught, shifting interplay of two people negotiating.
2) Your most powerful tool in any verbal communication is your voice.
You can use your voice to intentionally reach into someone’s brain and flip an emotional switch. Distrusting to trusting, nervous to calm.
You can use your voice to intentionally reach into someone’s brain and flip an emotional switch. Distrusting to trusting, nervous to calm.
3) Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding.
Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage to reveal their strategy.
Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage to reveal their strategy.
4) Tactical Empathy:
It is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you can increase your influence in all the moments that follow.
It is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you can increase your influence in all the moments that follow.
5) Labeling:
It is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. Give someone’s emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels.
It is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. Give someone’s emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels.
6) Great negotiators seek “No” because they know that’s often when the real negotiation begins.
Politely saying “No” to your opponent, calmly hearing “No” and just letting the other side know that they are welcome to say “No” has a positive impact on any negotiation.
Politely saying “No” to your opponent, calmly hearing “No” and just letting the other side know that they are welcome to say “No” has a positive impact on any negotiation.
7) When you adversaries say, “That’s right,” they feel they have assessed what you’ve said and pronounced it as correct of their own free will. They embrace it.
In negotiations, we never try to get to “yes” as an endpoint. “That’s right” often leads to the best outcomes.
In negotiations, we never try to get to “yes” as an endpoint. “That’s right” often leads to the best outcomes.
8) Creative solutions are almost always preceded by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict.
Accommodation and compromise produce none of that. You’ve got to embrace the hard stuff. That’s where the great deals are. And that’s what great negotiators do.
Accommodation and compromise produce none of that. You’ve got to embrace the hard stuff. That’s where the great deals are. And that’s what great negotiators do.
9) Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check.
Giving your counterpart the illusion of control by asking calibrated questions – by asking for help – is one of the most powerful tools for suspending unbelief.
Giving your counterpart the illusion of control by asking calibrated questions – by asking for help – is one of the most powerful tools for suspending unbelief.
10) In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never look at your counterpart as an enemy.
The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So, focus on the issue.
The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So, focus on the issue.
11) He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.
12) In this world, you can get what you ask for; you just have to ask correctly.
Thank you for going through the thread. Follow me at @readswithravi for more book learning, reviews, and lessons. Teach or share with others what you learn, that's how we grow.
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