Jekyll and Hyde parents can be kind in public and explosive in private.
How being raised this way impacts us:
How being raised this way impacts us:
Consistency is a core need for children. Consistent behavior allows us to develop emotional regulation, high self worth, and trust with adults.
Jekyll and Hyde parents are parents who (for various reasons) don't have predictable behavior. They may sometimes be sweet, affection, and play the role of "super parent." And at other times they might unleash rage, shame us, or ignore our presence.
Our nervous system interprets this behavior as a threat and we become hypevigilant to our environment as an attempt to self protect. Many people describe "walking on eggshells" around a parent never knowing when the next outburst or explosion will happen.
Hypervigilance looks like:
- startling easy
- fearing a parent figure catching you "doing nothing"
- noticing every change in a parent figures voices or mood
- being anxious, on edge
- making excuses not to go home
- nightmares
- racing thoughts
- startling easy
- fearing a parent figure catching you "doing nothing"
- noticing every change in a parent figures voices or mood
- being anxious, on edge
- making excuses not to go home
- nightmares
- racing thoughts
This continues into adulthood and can present as: panic attacks, social anxiety, fear of new people, avoidance (to not upset anyone), people pleasing, entering into relationships with explosive people, avoidance, etc.
Jekyll and Hyde parents can create a deeper layer of pain if they're admired in the community, or take on a public persona where they're loved by all. It's heartbreaking for any child to see a parent being kind to everyone else, and abusive at home.
If you'd like to share your experience of Jekyll and Hyde parents and how it's impacted you as an adult, use the comments.
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We're in this together.
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