Why doing things for approval from your parents will end up in resentment:
Our bond with parents is a deep, and as children there is no one we want to impress more than our parents. As we age, ideally, we develop an authentic sense of Self where we're connected to our body and our intuition. And then follow our own path.
Many of us don't get to develop an authentic Self because we've learned our role is to meet the needs of parents, to seem 'easy,' and to be the person our parent wants us to be. We choose careers or partners to please our parents.
In the process we're completely disconnected from ourselves. This is why so many of us wake up one day and have no clue who we actually are. And why 'midlife crisis' are so common.
When we betray ourselves and our own needs resentment, depression, and anxiety are the result. I've treated so many people who miserable in their careers, but felt trapped because they had a career or title that brought their parents pride.
Part of transitioning into life as an adult, is making choices based on: our own unique needs, desires, and purpose. Our parents might have an idea of what (they) believe is best for us, and that doesn't mean it's actually best for us.
Their own perception, how they were raised, and the time period they were raised in heavily shapes what they view is the "best" choice for us. It's important to have this awareness and to trust ourselves enough to have discernment.
In the short term, doing things for parental approval feels good. In the long term, it brings regret. At the end of the day, a majority of parents simply want their children to be happy. And your version of happiness will be different from your parents.
This means being ok with disappointing them in the short term, so that you can find a life that is fulfilling and meaningful for you.
This is how we truly honor our parents.
This is how we truly honor our parents.
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I write threads every day on how to heal yourself.
Join the waitlist for SelfHealers Circle
theholisticpsychologist.com
My new workbook:
howtomeetyourself.com
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