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Conflict Management
Highly reactive people will say things to upset you and create conflict.
How To Stand Your Ground:
How To Stand Your Ground:
Many people only know conflict as connection.
It's important to have clear boundaries around this behavior. This means being responsible for how we respond and not taking the emotional bait.
It's important to have clear boundaries around this behavior. This means being responsible for how we respond and not taking the emotional bait.
1. Don't give ammo: reactive people tend to search for things to take personally. They also tend to jump on things you've said and repeat them over and over again. Avoid giving them something to latch onto. Stay objective.
2. Observe internally: when you see someone who is acting out, observe this. Say to yourself "this isn't about me." Remain calm. You don't need to match their emotional intensity. You can stay calm and grounded, even when they are not.
3. Allow multiple realities: just because another person feels something happened a specific way, doesn't mean it's true. It can be triggering when someone has a different reality than we do, but it's also quite normal. Allow it.
4. Avoid the past: reactive people tend to hold onto the past, unable to let it go. For example: your mother might bring up all of the things she's done for you as a way to get you to do something. Don't engage in a past battle. Stick to the now.
5. Remove yourself when you need to: sometimes a person will engage in character attacks or will refuse to end the conversation. When this happens, remove yourself. Set a clear boundary that you will not take part in these interactions.
6. Don't try to change them: how people deal with stress and conflict is hard wired into their nervous system. You can't convince anyone to change. All you can do is be responsible for how you interact.
The more you do this the more confident you'll feel.
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How do YOU deal with highly reactive people?
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How do YOU deal with highly reactive people?
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