You feel like something is wrong with you.
And you're told it's all in your head.
Why you might be coping with complex trauma:
And you're told it's all in your head.
Why you might be coping with complex trauma:
Research shows that exposure to interpersonal trauma during our developmental years impacts brain development, our nervous system, and overall biology.
This is called: complex trauma.
It's often called "invisible" trauma because it's misunderstood.
This is called: complex trauma.
It's often called "invisible" trauma because it's misunderstood.
Symptoms of Complex Trauma:
- difficulty controlling emotions
- hypervigilance (body always on alert, can never relax)
-a feeling of being isolated, alone, or misunderstood
-relationship dynamics that are toxic or dysfunctional
-chronic dysregulation
- difficulty controlling emotions
- hypervigilance (body always on alert, can never relax)
-a feeling of being isolated, alone, or misunderstood
-relationship dynamics that are toxic or dysfunctional
-chronic dysregulation
-an overall feeling you're damaged or unworthy
-distrust for everyone around you
-emotional flashbacks (extreme emotions can come up in the form of triggers)
-extreme levels of shame
-mental health symptoms
-distrust for everyone around you
-emotional flashbacks (extreme emotions can come up in the form of triggers)
-extreme levels of shame
-mental health symptoms
Complex trauma comes from:
- witnessing physical or emotional abuse in the home
- parentification (having to become a "little adult")
- severe bullying, harassment
- childhood emotional neglect (emotionally absent parents)
- witnessing physical or emotional abuse in the home
- parentification (having to become a "little adult")
- severe bullying, harassment
- childhood emotional neglect (emotionally absent parents)
- sibling abuse
- being physically abused or harshly punished
- being labeled a "difficult" child or misfit
- being gaslight (having your reality denied on a consistent basis)
- feeling isolated (not getting affection, connection or belonging)
- being physically abused or harshly punished
- being labeled a "difficult" child or misfit
- being gaslight (having your reality denied on a consistent basis)
- feeling isolated (not getting affection, connection or belonging)
The impact of complex trauma in our developmental years is:
-inability to form a secure sense of self
-fear of speaking up
-chronic over-explaining/apologizing ("I am a burden")
-obsessive focus on external invalidation
-chronic fear of abandonment.
-inability to form a secure sense of self
-fear of speaking up
-chronic over-explaining/apologizing ("I am a burden")
-obsessive focus on external invalidation
-chronic fear of abandonment.
Because this typically occurs during our developmental years, we're helpless to self protect (leave the situation).
So, we learn survival strategies to cope with our environment. Survival strategies are attempts to keep ourselves safe.
So, we learn survival strategies to cope with our environment. Survival strategies are attempts to keep ourselves safe.
Common survival strategies from complex trauma:
-shutting down at the sign of conflict
-numbing, using substances to self regulate
-avoiding emotional intimacy
-becoming controlling, domineering
-unhealthy dependence
-self betrayal
-shutting down at the sign of conflict
-numbing, using substances to self regulate
-avoiding emotional intimacy
-becoming controlling, domineering
-unhealthy dependence
-self betrayal
If you have these symptoms, it's important to understand you can heal. You can unlearn survival patterns. And you can create new ways of of coping.
Complex trauma is not a life sentence.
Complex trauma is not a life sentence.
How to Start Healing:
1. Protect your inner child: more than anything, you need to create safety for yourself, something you lacked in childhood. Set boundaries. Remove yourself from dysfunctional situations. Make self protection priority.
1. Protect your inner child: more than anything, you need to create safety for yourself, something you lacked in childhood. Set boundaries. Remove yourself from dysfunctional situations. Make self protection priority.
2. Learn how to say "NO": saying no can actually feel physically painful for people with complex trauma. This is because they weren't allowed to say no, to have opinions, or to no go alone with what was expect. Practice a clear no.
3. Reparent yourself: the best way to do this is through soothing self talk. You might be saying "I'm such an idiot" "I'm worthless" on a regular basis. Practice saying things like: "I am safe" "I can do hard things" "I can trust myself"
4. Build support: this is difficult, because your trust in people is extremely limited. Take slow steps in finding a therapist, coach, group, or supportive person you feel safe with. This will help you learn that not all people are here to hurt you.
5. Unlearn survival strategies: survival strategies worked when you were a child, but they're not part of life as a healthy adult. For example, if you shut down at conflict practice communication. Have open conversations. Be vulnerable.
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Follow: @Theholisticpsyc
Join the waitlist for @selfhealerscirc my global healing private community: selfhealerscircle.com
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