"He loves you, he just doesn't know how to show it" is enabling.
Learning how to show love, express emotions, and understand other's emotions is an adult responsibility.
Why making excuses doesn't help:
Learning how to show love, express emotions, and understand other's emotions is an adult responsibility.
Why making excuses doesn't help:
Many people grow up hearing someone loves them but doesn't know how to show it. This is usually a sign that that person is avoidant or shut down. And sometimes a sign that person is abusive or toxic.
When we're told that someone loves us and doesn't know how to show it, we learn to believe to accept the bare minimum. That if someone struggles with emotional expression, they don't need to work on that.
We just need to accept it.
We just need to accept it.
A more accurate statement would be:
"They struggle with the skills needed to connect on a deeper level with another person."
"They struggle with the skills needed to connect on a deeper level with another person."
When someone struggles with connection in relationships, it's their responsibility to understand why. To learn how their past has impacted them and how they can practice the skills that allow people in their life to feel: safe, loved, & connected.
Many people fear vulnerability so much that they refuse to work on these skills and instead believe friends, partners, and family members should just accept the way they are.
Making excuses or acting as if a person can't evolve helps no one. All of us have the ability to learn new ways. "This is just the way I am" ignores the reality that we have choice behind all of our behavior.
In healthy relationships: you know you're loved. You feel safe. And you can see that the person is taking active steps outside of their conditioning to show you this reality.
Everyone has the ability to evolve.
Everyone has the ability to learn new ways to relate.
Everyone has the ability to have uncomfortable conversations.
That's the gift of being human.
Everyone has the ability to learn new ways to relate.
Everyone has the ability to have uncomfortable conversations.
That's the gift of being human.
Retweet to bring awareness.
What do you think? Have you heard this saying and how do you feel about it?
What do you think? Have you heard this saying and how do you feel about it?
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