How to (actually) stop being impulsive and making choices you regret.
A GUIDE:
A GUIDE:
Being impulsive is the result of chronic emotional dysregulation.
Emotional dysregulation creates racing thoughts and uncomfortable sensations in the body. This usually feels like anxiety or being stuck and frozen.
Emotional dysregulation creates racing thoughts and uncomfortable sensations in the body. This usually feels like anxiety or being stuck and frozen.
Being impulsive (making quick knee-jerk reactions) is our attempt at finding safety or escaping the intense thoughts and feelings we have.
It's not a character flaw, it's our learned way of coping that we can always unlearn.
It's not a character flaw, it's our learned way of coping that we can always unlearn.
Impulsive behavior can look like:
- using substances, shopping, or sex to escape pain or frustration
- saying or doing things you regret
- agreeing to something without thinking it through
- not planning for anything beyond today
- using substances, shopping, or sex to escape pain or frustration
- saying or doing things you regret
- agreeing to something without thinking it through
- not planning for anything beyond today
Ultimately, we know we've done something impulsive when we feel out of control, shameful, or when we later feel a lot of regret.
To stop impulsive behavior we have to:
1. Acknowledge it: the first step is to be aware that you have this pattern and to notice when and how it happens. Ask yourself: how often do I asked myself "why did I do that?" or how often you go into shame spirals.
1. Acknowledge it: the first step is to be aware that you have this pattern and to notice when and how it happens. Ask yourself: how often do I asked myself "why did I do that?" or how often you go into shame spirals.
2. What's behind it: let's use the example of impulsive spending. Ex: you start to feel really lonely and even though you told yourself you want to budget, you online shop then shame yourself.
Behind the impulsive behavior is feeling lonely.
Behind the impulsive behavior is feeling lonely.
3. Pattern break: once you notice what's behind the behavior (feeling afraid, not good enough, lonely etc) create a pattern break when notice this coming up.
A pattern break can be: putting down your phone, going for a walk, calling a close friend, etc.
A pattern break can be: putting down your phone, going for a walk, calling a close friend, etc.
4. Own the positive: in the moments when you don't go into autopilot impulsive behavior, honor yourself. We tend to notice the negative, but to change this pattern we have to cheer ourselves on. Every conscious choice you make is a major win.
Bookmark if you struggle with impulsive behavior.
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Spaces do sell out.
Get on waitlist here: selfhealerscircle.com
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